The Breakdown
When it happened to me last May I had just left a decade-long career in the spirits industry to found my business, The Wren Way. I was ecstatic. Not only had I dreamed of moving into the coaching space for years, but I was also thrilled to bring my unique perspective of harnessing play and curiosity to help women regain their agency and joy.
For anyone, that kind of bold move would invite significant challenges. I expected to hit a few speed bumps, but I felt up to the adventure.
I had always held myself to a high standard of both presence and excellence in my professional life. I worked hard to project—and live up to—the image of Une Femme Extraordinaire: brave, bold, brassy, and fully capable of tackling any challenge. I believed, once again, I would leap into this new venture clear-eyed and ready to take on the world.
Yet, something was off. I felt sluggish, thick-headed, unfocused, and lacking my usual drive. Tasks that might have easily helped me achieve my business goals now seemed insurmountable. I was increasingly edgy, weary, and disconnected from myself.
Physical challenges that had been mild annoyances a year prior had become steadily worse. I shrugged it off, thinking I was “getting older” and that this big transition might be harder in my mid-40s. I figured I could power through with another strong coffee.
I now chuckle at my naiveté.
It wasn’t just the sleeplessness, though that was frustrating—I had been part of The 3 AM Club for years due to a career of constant travel. It wasn’t the joint pain either; I had learned to manage discomfort after a serious accident in 2007. Even the weight gain wasn’t the issue—I had developed a certain cheerful affection for the softening curves of middle age.
To quote Hemingway, ““How did you go bankrupt?” “Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly.”
What finally broke me was the sudden, overwhelming despair—rolling waves of hopelessness, fear, and grief, like a caged animal throwing itself against the bars. I remember lying on the floor, heaving with sobs, whispering over and over, “What is happening to me?”
Nothing could have prepared me for it. Worse, no one— including my doctor—had warned me.
I was thrown, headfirst and gasping, into perimenopause.
A Shocking Correlation
A sudden onset of mental health issues is a disturbingly common symptom of perimenopause. A 2024 study from University College London found that “perimenopausal women have a 40% higher risk of experiencing depressive symptoms compared to premenopausal women.” Similarly, the Harvard Study of Moods and Cycles revealed that women entering perimenopause were twice as likely to develop significant depressive symptoms as those who remained premenopausal.
Additionally, perimenopause is increasingly recognized as a period of heightened vulnerability to severe mental health issues, including mania, psychosis, and schizophrenia. Because estrogen regulates dopamine and serotonin, its unpredictable decline destabilizes mood. The resulting emotional volatility, compounded by sleep disturbances, impacts cognitive function, problem-solving, and, alarmingly, increases the risk of suicidal ideation, as highlighted in a 2023 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders.
By the time I understood what was happening, I had become a shell of myself. I could barely drag myself out of bed and shower, let alone build a marketing campaign. Between bouts of numbness, I felt enraged by the lack of education and warnings for mid-life women.
How could something so devastating, dangerous, and destabilizing be treated as a mere footnote on a medical chart? The unpredictability of symptoms—one day fine, the next utterly lost—wasn’t an inconvenience. It was a maddening, exhausting maze that stole my joy and connection to the world.
Determined to get better, I dug deeper into the research. That’s when I noticed an even more concerning pattern.
Unfortunate Timing
In 2024, the average age for a woman to be primed to enter or actively entering the C-Suite fell between 45-55 years old. This means that the often debilitating effects of perimenopause are perfectly timed to strike during the most pivotal, expansive, and potentially lucrative time in a woman’s career.
Story after story detailed both the struggle and consequence of trying to be a high-productivity professional while perimenopausal.
Tech founder Ruth Shrauner told Business Insider about her experience: “I’m the woman other female business owners turn to for advice and pep talks. So, when I found myself lying in bed thinking, ‘I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again,’ it felt like an out-of-body experience. My energy depleted. Little tasks felt impossible. Soon, anxiety became my new normal.”
Executive Donna Cook told NBC News, “I would oversleep, miss my alarm, and be late for work. I constantly felt like I was playing catch-up.”
One executive I interviewed shared: “I started my [COO] job in March, and by June, I was struggling. Writing an email took 30 minutes instead of three. I’d get frustrated and start crying, thinking, ‘Maybe I’m not cut out for this.’”
According to UK healthcare provider SimplyHealth, 23% of working women have considered quitting their jobs due to menopause-related struggles, and 14% are actively planning to leave.
For solo entrepreneurs, the impact is even more severe. Founders already battle gender bias, exclusion from key networks, and the constant need to prove competence. I reached out to female founders to understand their experience with perimenopause—but not a single one would speak on the record.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not comfortable putting myself out there.”
“I’m happy to connect, but please do not mention my real name or company.”
One finally explained: “Publicly acknowledging any weakness—mental or physical—jeopardizes a woman’s chance of getting funded. It’s just not worth it.”
So, women are left navigating medical symptoms, cognitive challenges, and intense professional demands—while projecting unwavering competence just to stay in the game.
The Long Way Back
So, how can a woman navigating the challenges of perimenopause find a way back to herself while simultaneously protecting her professional image and mental health?
Here are the steps I have taken – and recommend to others – to help regain confidence, work with unpredictable symptoms, and keep, gently, moving forward.
Advocate, Educate, and Insist on Appropriate Treatment
I was fortunate to have a great doctor, but even she hesitated to prescribe Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) because my estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels were technically “normal.”
Fortunately, I had experience self-advocating. I found numerous studies proving standard blood tests are poor indicators of perimenopausal estrogen needs. I presented these to my doctor, urging her to update her approach. She ultimately prescribed HRT—and later shared that my case changed how she treats her other perimenopausal patients.
Don’t Give Up on Finding Solutions
Before HRT, I tried everything—long walks, naps, dietary changes, meditation, and Lexapro. Some helped, but none fully lifted the darkness. Though I felt discouraged at times, my persistence gave me hope. Every woman deserves to feel better, and there are many paths to healing. Don’t ever stop believing that you are worth the effort.
Find a Safe Community
Despite its pitfalls, the internet offers invaluable support. I found camaraderie and life-changing advice on Reddit forums like r/perimenopause and r/perimenopause_under45, as well as private communities like The Pause Life. Offline, I confided in my husband and friends, normalizing my experience and creating a support network.
Work With What You’ve Got—Without Judgment
Some days, I felt unstoppable. Others, I could barely function. I built a flexible to-do list, tackling maintenance tasks on harder days and reserving creative projects for when I felt stronger. I scheduled fewer in-person meetings and, most importantly, stopped berating myself for not maintaining past productivity levels. Letting go of self-judgment freed up energy for healing.
Today, after nearly a year of trial and error, I can finally say I feel like myself again. HRT has been a game-changer for me, and I’ve learned to navigate the rare tough days with grace.
Hopefully, my willingness to speak out about my experience will encourage others to know that they are not alone.. Furthermore, I hope the stigma surrounding perimenopause will be lifted by women like me coming forward to share their story..
Perimenopause nearly took me down. But I took my power back—and every woman deserves the chance to do the same.
